Happy December!!

Happy December to all you readers of my blog!

Pretty sure everyone I know is starting to listen to Christmas music. I wish I had such motivation. I can handle it for a few songs or so, but not 24/7 like some people I know (Mom). Don't get me wrong, there are some good songs. Its just...well, the thing is...ugh I just don't like listening to it all the time. I used to say I won't listen to it til day after Thanksgiving. Then I said I wouldn't listen to it til first day of December. It just doesn't feel like Christmas yet, even though there's plenty of snow up here in the good 'ol 'Burg. Maybe if we decorated our apartment, it would feel more like Christmas. Unfortunately, I don't have money for Christmas decorations, and I'm not sure if my roommates do either.

Anyway. The REAL purpose for writing this blog was to put the one and only Christmas story I have on here for you guys to enjoy. So, enjoy.

My uncle wrote his own version of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" in a creative writing class. Here it is :)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through my pad
Not a creature was stirring, and that's just too bad.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care.
They'd been worn for six months and they needed some air.

The children were nestled all snug in their cots
And we were both glad to be rid of the snots.

And Ma in her curlers and I in my shorts
Had just settled down for a few snores and snorts.

Then I heard a loud clatter outside of my place.
When I got up to look, I fell flat on my face.

Away to the window I flew like a flash
And fell to the yard with a great big kersplash.

I lay on my back in the new-fallen snow,
And I knew that it must've been forty below.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a broken-down sleigh and eight stinky reindeer

With a little old driver so ugly and sick
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick.

As clumsy as beagles his coursers they came,
And he cursed and he shouted and called them bad names.

"Now Basher, now Cancer, now Clunker, now Clutzo,
On Vomit, on Stupid, on Slobber, on Nutso!

To the top of the porch, through the side of the wall,
Now, bash away, smash away, crash away all!"

So up to the housetop his coursers they went,
And when they had landed, his sleigh was all bent.

It smacked on the roof and then slid off the edge,
And those eight spastic reindeer crashed into the hedge.

I ran to the house just as fast as I could,
And then down the chimney he fell with a thud.

I noticed the way he was flopping and turning,
And then I remembered the fire was still burning.

I stood for a moment and watched his beard singe,
And the sound of his agonized screams made me cringe.

So I dragged him out into the room on his back,
And then I reached in and recovered his pack.

His beard was all black and was all burnt to bits.
When he looked in the mirror he went into fits.

He picked up his pipe and started to smoke
But when he inhaled, he gagged and choked.

I knew right away I had nothing to dread.
From the look in his eyes he was almost half dead.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work.
He filled all the stockings and looked like a jerk.

Then, laying a finger aside of his nose,
He blew it, and snot went all over his clothes.

He rose up the chimney and sprang to his sleigh.
I was glad he was finally going away.

I heard him exclaim as he hit a streetlight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

Merry Christmas everyone!