I'm sick.

I'm sick and tired of EVERYONE in this stupid town having their happy ending, while I sit on my couch and can only dream of what it would be like to:

Be in a relationship. To be in that twitterpated stage. To feel like when I'm with him, nothing can go wrong.

Be engaged. To still be in that twitterpated stage, only at an increased level. To feel like no matter what details go into that big day, all that will matter is that at the end of it I will be with him for eternity.

Be married. To hopefully forever be in that twitterpated stage. To feel like he is my knight in shining armor, my retard in tin foil, or simply just mine. And no one else's.

I know I'm only 20, and that these are not feelings I should be having. But this is honestly how I feel, and how I've felt for a LONG time. And I'm sick of it, and I want it to end.

And since nobody ever reads this unless I post a link to it on Facebook, I don't think anybody will ever know that this is how I feel at this exact moment.

Awesome.

What I learned this semester.

Sorry this post is late.

Here is a list of things I learned this semester:

• NEVER set your expectations high. For anything. Nor get your hopes up for anything. You will be disappointed if you do.
• How to make what I call hamburger casserole. Others call it Shepherd's Pie. Whatever.
• I love Batman. At least, Christian Bale's Batman. 
• There will always be one roommate you can't stand to be around. Always. (Side note: previous semesters have also proved this. But this semester I finally learned there's nothing I can do about it.)
• My mom's lasagna is THE best lasagna on this planet. Hands down. End of story. Goodbye.
• Totino's Pizza Rolls are basically a gift from God. 
• I've recognized this in the past, but it's still true this semester: I will never be able to "seriously" date a guy up here, due to the track system BYUI has. No matter what track he is on, there will always be a semester where one of us isn't here. And that sucks.
• Buffalo Wild Wings has some of the best wings. Ever. Seriously. Go try them.
• Rexburg is the worst place for drivers. So many different states with so many different driving rules. It's terrible.

Yeah. That's pretty much it.

Coming up: what I learned during the 7-week break. But that's not til September.

Quote door.

Kori put these up on our door for my birthday (which was the best, BTW).

1. "You know who's tall in our ward?" "Who?" "Benjamin." "No." She has been fired from the duty of finding me a husband.
2. "Happy birthday, yo." In case you couldn't read it.
3. "Not antisocial, just introverts." Because we stay in our room. All day. Err day.
4. "Congratulations on surviving another year and making new friends and fun memories!"
5. "Hey, I just met you. And this is crazy. But now we're roommates, so love me maybe?"
6. "Happy b-day! Happy b-day!"
7. "Happy birthday!"
8. "One year starts today...step on it!" Referring to the fact that Nancy said I would be either in a serious relationship, engaged, or married by my 21st birthday.
9. "We have tinted windows now, so..." I said this while driving my Nana's car (I had it while my Grandpa was fixing Norbert) and we were dancing.
10. "What we say is law." True story.
11. "And we can have a skunk!" "No." We decided that we were going to live together when we graduate (since we're gonna be forever alone...together) and Kori suggested we get a skunk.
12. "One year older and wiser too...well, def older!" Rude. :P
13. "Err day!" One day, I was on the phone with my dad (with Kori right next to me), and I said 'all day' to him, and then we both said 'err day'. So this happens all the time now.
14. "Right meow!" It helps if you say it fast.
15. "I'll show you how to rock climb." See #24 for explanation.
16. "Excitement!" Cuz my birthday's exciting. Duh.
17. "Happy birthday!" There were a lot of these.
18. "Now you are old!" Soooo old.
19. "Moccasins!" We both have some.
20. "Happy birthday! Happy birthday! Happy birthday! Happy birthday!" I told you there were a lot of these.
21. "I want to fly!" "Not that way." We were talking about how people 'fly high' when they're smoking weed, and then this happened.
22. "Did you see that thunder?" One day it was super stormy. And these guys were in our apartment. And then there was lightning and thunder. And one guy said "Did you hear that lightning?" So smart.
23. "Hey, I just met you. And this is crazy. But you like Deadpool, marry me maybe?" I guess Kori said this to her 'husband' when she met him and he said he liked Deadpool. 
24. "I'll show you how to ride a bike." One day Kori said she told a guy she couldn't ride a bike, and he said that's not something you say on a first date. So I said it could be like when a guy is 'showing' his date how to golf...just to get close to her. If that makes sense. If not, too bad.
25. "Hey, I just met you. And this is crazy. But I'm on Facebook, so add me maybe?" I came up with this during church. It's copyrighted.
26. "You give the best directions." I was telling our friend Chase when to turn...as he was making the turn.
27. "Kake." So. There's this guy. His name is Blake. Apparently we're perfect for each other, but I'm not interested. One day, his roommate (and our friend) said that our couple name would be 'Kake.' So now I have to marry someone named Blake.
28. "20." Because that's how old I am.

This is staying on our door. Forever.

Eardrums.

They're kind of important.

Really wish some people didn't have to turn their music all the way up...and then shout at each other when they're right next to each other.

If this wasn't happening, my eardrums wouldn't be in jeopardy of exploding.